It’s 6 a.m., and you’re still in
the middle of a deep, Nyquil-induced slumber. Suddenly, you hear an explosion
of water. You shoot out of bed, follow the sound of gushing water, and try to
clog the leaking pipe with the sheet you ripped off of your bed in the midst of
your groggy panic. Soon the sheet is drenched in the water that’s shooting out
from the pipe, and your eyes dart around the room wondering what else you could
possibly do to stop your home from resembling the lost city of Atlantis.
Suddenly, the situation seems almost comical.
Your wife walks into the room
just a minute behind you, a look of terror and disgust in her eyes reflecting
this plumbing emergency in Lafayette, IN. What do you say?
“Are Your Pipes Clogged?”
Just thinking about this question
gives me anxiety for the man who dares to make this joke during a plumbing
emergency in Lafayette, IN.
“You Look GREAT Today!”
Your wife knows she looks great.
While she might appreciate the compliment at another time, admiring her looks
while you’re dealing with a plumbing emergency in Lafayette, IN is setting
yourself up for disaster.
“What’s for Breakfast, Honey?
Be prepared to see your wife turn
red in the face immediately after you ask this dangerous question. Let’s just
say you’ll be eating dry cereal for the next 2 months.
“You Look Flushed!” *Uncontrollable Laughter*
Save the puns for another day.
Your wife will probably not appreciate your humor (however creative it may be)
if there’s water surging from the pipes in your home.
“Did You Do This?”
*Gasps of women ‘round the world* NO. If you blame this incident on your
wife, you can be confident that the couch in the living room will be your bed
for a very VERY long time.
“This Reminds Me of the Time….”
Of all moments in the world, do
not choose this one to take a trip down memory lane. Your wife doesn’t care
about the time your college roommate dumped a bucket of lemonade over your head
right now. Tell her later for goodness sake.
“Get the Sticky Tack, I Can
Instead of trying to take care of
this plumbing emergency in Lafayette, IN with random items around your home,
just call a professional!
“Can I Have a Hug?”
No. The answer will be NO.
“It Smells Like Your Meatloaf”
At this point, you’re asking for
a divorce, man. Your wife is going to ship you off to Hong Kong before you can
utter another word.
“My Mother Could Fix This”
Please, PLEASE don’t even THINK
In the instance of a plumbing
emergency in Lafayette, IN, avoid making your wife angry and just call Schomers Plumbing, Heating & Air Conditioning. You’ll thank us.